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Monday, June 26, 2006

Adventures in Shopping

And now, for the Walmart story.

It was Saturday. I needed milk, a waterproof matress cover, a yoga mat, some treats for my Sunday school class and some other things and Walmart was the only place I could think of that would provide me all of those things in one stop (kind of a necessity with the two kids in tow). We got there around noon so I could bribe my kids with french fries to be good. I parked on the opposite side of the food so we could get the fries on the way out. We walked in and I asked the greeter for a cart for 2 kids. She brought me one. It was broken. Only one side would buckle. I had Eva safely strapped in but Caleb was free to jump out at will. This would not do. I asked for a different cart.

The greeter was really nice (a younger girl) and used her radio to ask the other side if they had a cart. No luck. She called for a cart guy to come. He came and went out to the parking lot. He never came back. I stood there for 10 full minutes before the tears started to flow. Caleb was being okay (I had given him a bouncy ball and he had an empty bag of veggietales fruit snacks that he was "talking" to---hello Bob and Larry!). Eva, as usual, was being very well behaved. I just knew it wasn't going to last much longer and I was losing my patience. I asked for a manager.

A manager came, called on the radio to the cart guy and he said he couldn't find one. The manager left.

After a few more minutes, I asked to speak to a more important manager. This time a lady (one that doesn't have to wear a vest---so she must be important) came to help me. I was crying even more but this time it wasn't because I was sad. I was happy. I was so proud of Caleb. He was being so good! He was happy to be saying hi to EVERY SINGLE person that walked into Walmart. Everyone probably thought I was a total idiot---but I don't care. Caleb was a dream. I couldn't believe how well behaved he was and we were pushing 20 minutes sitting in a broken cart and not moving.

Finally, they found a cart. They brought it to me and we transferred the kids. Guess what? BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I start laughing hysterically (still crying, too) because of my luck. Why does stuff like this happen to me? I know in the grand scheme of things this is really no big deal. It's just a cart. But, in that moment I was wondering when I became a big enough star to be on Punk'd (is that show even still on?).

Two guys (also without vests---I was probably the biggest problem in Walmart that day) came to help the other lady. They brought a screwdriver and took one of the straps from one broken cart and transferred it to the fixed cart. It took them a couple of tries. One time they put two broken straps together and the next time they put it on upside down. But, they got it right. Caleb and Eva were real troopers through the whole thing. I'm the one that lost it.

I told them all thank you and tried to explain that the majority of my crying was because I was happy. They looked at me like I was a nut job. Oh well. I had a cart and didn't want to be hanging out there anymore. I booked it out of there and went shopping.

The managers were trying to explain to me that it was a Saturday and all of those carts must have been in the store being used by customers. As you can imagine, I was going to be on the lookout for people with those carts when I went into the store. I didn't see a SINGLE ONE! Where the heck were all the carts? I was in there for almost an all the regular kid hangouts (toys, infants, food). I didn't see any other blue kid cart. Ridiculous.

Caleb made it most of the way through shopping. I did have to open up the popsicles before we made it back to the car but that made him forget all about the french fries. Good times.


  1. Oh, Christy. I love you! I'm so glad that you are my friend. You really need to write a book. I would buy it. Although, if you wrote a book you would also need to narrate it so I can listen to you on my ipod.

    You're the best! I'm gonna miss ya!

  2. I'll get Carl to set me up a little studio so I can have podcasts. What do you think? Then I can tell you all sorts of crap on your ipod! Caleb can provide the music (I hope you like Mary Poppins) and Eva can just grunt in the background.

    I'm so lucky my life is amusing. ;)

  3. I'm excited to read Christy Memoirs too, it probably won't be as juicy as another Memoirs book I know...but just as great!

  4. Oh, COULD be as juicy as the Memoirs book---it's just that our parents read this blog. ;)

  5. I totally agree with the podcasts. I could just hear you saying, "Where's Ashton, I'm gonna kill him!!"

    Don't even get me started on Walmart carts, did I tell you about when Whitney got her leg stuck and almost required the jaws of life (ok, not quite that bad, but BAD), to get it out? Grrr. Let's go into business together and create carts that are only NON-BROKEN 2 child carts that are impossible to get legs stuck in!! American Inventor 2 here we come!

  6. Hey, I wanna hear crap on my ipod too. Crap rules. I want to second and third the motion that wal-mart is lame when it comes to carts. What do they think, people with nannies come to walmart and don't need carts for more than one kid. I am steaming just thinking about it. Total losers. But, I would like to add that I would have loved to seen all that in action. That would have been fun. Maybe next time, video crap podcasting? yes!

  7. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that has breakdowns in public. I can just picture it.... no, I'm crying b/c I'm happy. :) I agree with Hollie. You need to write a book, and yes, I would want to listen to it podcast style.

    BTW, does the word memoirs strike a cord with any of you after the whole 'Million Little Pieces' ordeal??