The Crafty Conservative
Before I left to go to Oklahoma, I called my sister. We're both big girls. But, she likes to exercise. I asked her if she wanted to "train" me and help me with some workouts while I was there. She was genuinely excited and was looking forward to "Project Fat Arse". When I got to Oklahoma, our goals changed and we took "PFA" too literally by skipping all workouts and proceeding to eat chinese food and pizza the whole time. Oh yeah. Good stuff.
I'm not a total slacker. I have lost 20 lbs. in the past year. It just goes really slowly. When my insurance kicks in (Aug 15th), I'm going to go back to the dr. and see if (s)he can get my PCOS symptoms under control (one is weight gain). When I was going through fertility treatments (pre-Frog) my reproductive endocrinologist put me on glucophage (mainly used for diabetics) to help out with some of the symptoms and weight gain. It just gave me wicked diarrhea so I stopped taking it. Now I've heard that he probably should have started me on lower doses and have me work my way up to the regular daily dose. I may try it again. I hope I can find a good doctor here.
I bought a scale last night. It is a really cool one that tracks body fat as well. What a bummer it was seeing that number! It scared me enough to have me really kick PFA into high gear. Once school starts and SD is on his regular contract, I'm going to join a gym. I'll probably just do the YWCA. They have a program where you can just have an aquatic membership (my preference) and do all the swimming and water aerobic classes you want. They also have day care for up to 1 1/2 hours. That would even give me time to enjoy the jacuzzi and/or sauna afterwards!
I have been thinking that there are some psychological reasons that I've been keeping from doing some of the things that I need to. Darn that Dr. Phil! :) But, seriously, my RE said that with glucophage and dropping some weight, my cycles could become more and more regulated giving me a better chance of getting pregnant. Well, guess what? I'M SCARED TO GET PREGNANT! I know, I know. I whined and complained and tried so hard to get pregnant for years. The thing is, now I know that what I really wanted was a baby, not the experience of pregnancy. I know that a lot of women that experience infertility don't always feel this way. Some of them need to have the experience of pregnancy and want to have children with their genetic makeup. For me, that's not too important. In fact, I totally look upon my infertility as a huge BLESSING in my life because I now have two fabulous kids that I could never have had myself. When I used to only be worried about the infertility aspect of PCOS, I now realize that the other symptoms are much more problematic (at least in my life). So, I guess I'll get this weight thing under control once and for all (or at least as much as I can) and if I get pregnant, I certainly won't cry about it. I'm sure I'll love any biological child as much as the ones I have now. They just won't be as cute, that's for sure! :)
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
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Good luck with PFA and, in a way, I do understand why you would fear getting pregnant. Now that you have your beautiful babies, it's not something you are hyper-focused on anymore and those of us you have witnessed during the whole process haven't always handled it without lots of whining. (at least I know I didn't) Plus, the thing about pregnancy is that it's scarily unpredictable. There are no guaranteed outcomes and no predictors for what it will do to you physically, just some typical "guidelines." I've never gone through any of my pregnancies without emotionally holding my breath until I had a healthy baby in my arms. Of course, I'm sure you could say the same about waiting for an adoption to go through. So I guess what I'm saying is that it's all scary, but all good too. If you do get pregnant, I promise not to laugh and to be absolutely thrilled and terrified right along with you. (and to come help out when the baby comes if that is needed) Either way, PFA sounds like a go. Have fun with it!
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