Things have always come pretty easily for me. When I was little, I was a cute, well behaved little girl. I was smart and had friends. I've pretty much succeeded at just about everything I've tried. But, there are a few things that I really can't do at all. *I'm sure my sister, aka Loser, can come up with some other things...I dare you to leave a comment*
1. Skiing. When I was ten I went skiing for the first time. I couldn't stop and plowed down everyone waiting in the lift line. My mom even heard other people talking about that "poor little girl" later that day. I tried again when I was 18. I mean, I was an adult. I had more control over my body. I should be better. Nope. I got caught on the t-bar and was drug up the mountain. I'm not going to give myself a third chance to make a fool of myself.
2. Horseback riding. Everyone in my family knows that I suck at this. The worst part? My dad trains race horses and I grew up on a HORSE RANCH! People would always tell me, "Oh, you're so lucky to live on a ranch with all those horses. I bet you ride a lot." Uh-huh. Sure. If they only knew. The last time I will ever ride a horse was a couple of years ago. I was at my Grandpa's in Utah. Sugar Daddy was there. I was much more experienced than him so I thought, how bad could it be? It was bad. I ended up flat on my back in a field.
3. Macroeconomics. I tried so hard to pass this class. The TA that taught it tried to help me. I was in office hours every week. He told me to drop it while I could. I did and then promptly changed majors.
4. Makeup. I have no idea how to put on makeup. This is probably appalling to my sister, who majored in makeup application in the 6th grade. But, I'm just not that good at it. I've tried to get Janet Jackson's smoky eyes and ended up looking like I was just beaten. In my 9th grade school picture I ventured out on a limb and applied blue mascara. Add big white hoop earrings, braces, a horrible short haircut, and some zits and you've got a great memento of your first year of high school.
5. Parenting. I've been coming to this realization for a while now. It's hard. This is something I'm having to work at more than anything else in my life. I don't know why I didn't expect this. But, I didn't. I thought I would be a great parent. I thought Frog and Big Apple and I would be happy all day, make play-dough together and go jump in leaves. Instead, I'm up to my eyeballs in poop, snot, and drool and neither one of them wants to play nicely. Unlike the previous things I suck at, this is not something I can just quit. I'm in this for the long haul. I'm sure I'll get the hang of things sooner or later. In the meantime, I'm working on it. This is the one thing I won't allow myself to fail. On the upside, I just saw Dr. Phil and things could be worse. I guess I'm not too bad.