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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Reasons Number 197-203 Why I Don't Need Pets.

We've been at my mom's house for just over an hour now.  Everyone is still at work so we're here alone.  I don't have the energy for anything more than bullet points right now because Caleb has kept me awake since 3:30am.  Then he slept for two hours on the way here.  I drove. 

The first 30 minutes:

  • I needed to go to the bathroom for over an hour but I held it because I didn't want to haul both kids (and have to wake up Caleb) into a public restroom.  Once we got to my mom's house, I didn't quite make it. 
  • When I did make it to a bathroom, it didn't have toilet paper.
  • The kids were too distracted by the animals that none of them came to my rescue despite my pleas for several minutes.
  • It was messy, but I got myself taken care of and just went commando to tell the kids to come in the house so I could take a shower.
  • I opened the sliding glass door just in time to see Caleb throwing one of the kittens halfway across the pond.
  • There are two kittens.  I missed the first one. 
  • The kittens are fine.
  • Eva ran into the house covered in cat poop. 
  • Up to this point: 2 people covered in poop, 1 animal torturer
  • I decided to throw Eva in the bathtub.  I squirted her off first but then couldn't figure out how to turn off the nozzle.
  • Called my mom.
  • My phone died.
  • She called me on the land line and told me how to do it.
  • I couldn't figure out how to turn off the jets in the jacuzzi tub.
  • We made lots of bubbles.
  • I figured it out.
  • I got Caleb started playing the Wii so I could get in the shower.
  • We all survived.
  • Caleb is still playing the Wii, Eva is fully clothed and clean, and so am I. 

Phew.  I could really use a nap.  Instead I'll be putting in a load of laundry. 


  1. 'Crappy' indeed! Here's to a sunnier tomorrow! :)

  2. Oh heavens. This vacation better turn around, and quick! Those poor kittens...and Christy.

  3. Well, you know what Bill Cosby says right? "First you say it, then you do it." Then you probably say it again and again.

    It's GOT to get better right? Was your little brother not with you on the ride down?? I hope Carl arrives soon and you get to go get your toes done.

  4. Janet3:28 PM


  5. You so crazy Christy. But I got to give you props, if I crapped my pants I certainly wouldn't be blogging about it.

  6. What can I say, Gayla? I'm self-defecating. I mean, self-deprecating.

  7. So sorry. Nathan just fell asleep after wailing for about 30 minutes. Maybe next time they need to sleep in different rooms.

  8. Poor Christy! What an... adventure.

    And although I definitely don't condone kitten throwing, I had to laugh a little when I read about it. Because seriously, did you ever imagine dealing with something like that when you became a mom?

  9. Oh no! So sorry! I'll pamper you when you get here!

  10. AAAHHH! At least you all survived it :)

  11. No wonder you have a blog...your life is never boring! Your honesty always makes me feel better. Nice to know that odd things happen to everyone!

    Kitten throwing is hilarious. Not in a mean way...but just imagining it in my head. Oh that Caleb!