A while ago I got a phone call from someone at my church that was really offensive to me. I told this person so. This person hasn't apologized to me but I think this is more because this person thinks that what they said was not racist. This isn't something that I think about on a daily basis but this person called tonight and it made me think of the incident. I didn't answer the phone, Carl did. This person called right as I was giving the kids a little lesson. I was sharing a quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley.
"May God help us to be a little kinder, showing forth greater forbearance, to be more forgiving, more willing to walk the second mile, to reach down and lift up those who may have sinned but have brought forth the fruits of repentance, to lay aside old grudges and nurture them no more."
Gordon B. Hinckley, "Forgiveness," Ensign, Nov. 2005, 84
(emphasis my own)
I wasn't going to blog about this since I thought it might be "nurturing" the old grudge. But I promise this is the last time I'll bring it up. Lesson learned.
Did you see Matt's "wonderful" insight on FB about grudges?
ReplyDeleteI understand what you're saying and I think you are awesome. Right this moment I am feeling completely drained by an FB/ blog fight that's been going on for the last 24 hours with a former friend of mine. She wrote something on her blog that I found offensive and hurtful and I said so, which launched a public 20-something comment attack on me mingled with private messages between the two of us all day long. I apologized repeatedly that, while I meant what I said about her comment being offensive, I was sorry that she was hurt by my response to her comment. Her parting message was that she was standing by what she said, no apologies.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, not that you were asking for a novel here, but isn't the whole point of basic human decency that we can have our opinions but understand and be sorry when they are hurtful to other people? Like your situation...Even if the shmuck at church doesn't understand how his comments were racist, why can't he at least be able to be sorry that he was hurtful to another human being? It's hardly brain surgery...
Here's hoping I can let go like you have...Love you Christy!
Amen, Brenda.
ReplyDeleteWendy--didn't see it.
I guess he had some insight when he was up late (early?) one night. . he said something like. . .holding a grudge is like holding in a fart. . .you feel so much better when you let it go.
ReplyDeleteI guess he's right huh?
Just a side note. There was a very hateful and devastating blog posted about our adoption with one of our sons from someone who had been a close friend for years. The individual blogged an apology later ( so I heard)but never had the dencency to tell us face to face, I have forgiven this person and I have to work daily not bring it up. It gets easier as time goes by and as I plead for help from my Heavenly Father. The thing that I have to remember is that it is a commandment to forgive but we do not have to associate with them! THANK GOODNESS! I am sorry you were hurt!
ReplyDeleteJust a side note. There was a very hateful and devastating blog posted about our adoption with one of our sons from someone who had been a close friend for years. The individual blogged an apology later ( so I heard)but never had the dencency to tell us face to face, I have forgiven this person and I have to work daily not bring it up. It gets easier as time goes by and as I plead for help from my Heavenly Father. The thing that I have to remember is that it is a commandment to forgive but we do not have to associate with them! THANK GOODNESS! I am sorry you were hurt!
ReplyDeleteWendy--but it still stinks!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand, Christy. Being an unwed mother to a biracial baby, I had some things said to me (at church, nonetheless) both before & after she was born. Some of the things said after her birth were downright rude, using racist terms. I was extremely hurt & wanted to HIT the other person. I have had to ask for forgiveness from Heavenly Father for feeling such rage. I have had (and still do) to work to feel love towards that person. The kicker is, I don't think that person even realizes what they said was wrong on so many levels!
ReplyDelete